I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
