it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Still dying that you shit outside
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
