just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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