piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
