his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
