Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
