FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
