First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
