Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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