your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
