things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
