I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
