We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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