but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
