David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
