The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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