Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
