he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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