if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
