Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
