You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
