Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
