Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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