but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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