I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
