On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
