Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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