he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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