You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
