I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
