would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
