That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just had sex bonerless
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
