bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
