i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
