Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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