yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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