After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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