I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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