He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
