You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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