Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
