Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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