Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
