bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize