Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish you could order shots online.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
