looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
