I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
