Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
