we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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