Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
