i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
