I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize