I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
