just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
