so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
