what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
