So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
