used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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